Writing Engaging Dialogue

1pen's Tips for Writing Engaging Dialogue

by 1pen


When I was a freshman in high school, my best friend and I were convinced that we were the funniest people on earth. In fact, we were so confident of this that we decided we would record our conversations, type them out, and make millions.   Then something funny happened.  We tried out our little idea and, one, we're not millionaires, not yet at least, and two, we didn't become millionaires overnight because the idea sucked.  

We really weren't that interesting and neither are you.

Actual human conversation can be so dull as to render you comatose within minutes if you're not careful. Our own brains protect us from imminent boredom-comas by giving all of us a little raven in our heads who thinks about sparkly things and stealing chips in between actually paying attention to the people we are talking to or that are talking to us.  

So how is it then that we willingly read page after page of dialogue in books? How do those authors do it?

I'm not sure how they do it, but I know how I do it.  What follows are a few tips and strategies I employ on a regular basis both for the Mana Farms storyline and in my novels.

These are the five concepts I keep in my head every time I'm working:

Dialogue should be believable.
Dialogue should be seductive.
Dialogue should be interesting.
Dialogue should have timing.
Dialogue should have voice.


1. Dialogue should be believable.

This was the first mistake my best friend and I made all those years ago.  We thought ACTUAL conversation was what was believable.  It wasn't. It was just boring.   

Believable dialogue is dialogue that relates to the story. Period.  This is dialogue that is true to the situation, the environment, and the motivations, fears and habits of all characters involved...but more than that, it's true to the plot.  Every single word that comes out of my character's mouth is driving the story forward.  If it doesn't, it's gone. No ifs, ands, or buts.  I don't care if you laughed your ass off when you wrote it, if it doesn't drive the story forward, it's no longer hilarious, deep, or genius.  It's just stupid.


2. Dialogue should be seductive.

When I say seductive, I don't mean erotic, I mean it charms you, it woos you, it flirts with you, courts your attention, captivates your imagination, gets into your blood and lingers there a while and creates an emotional bond.   Dialogue plays hard to get. Dialogue is a game, a back and forth not just between characters on a page, but between author and readers.  

Tempt your characters with things they don't know but need to know in order to get what they want.  Tempt your readers too.


3. Dialogue should be interesting.

When I'm writing a chapter one of the first things I do is write a bare bones version of it.  The dialogue is, frankly, lousy.   

For example, early in the Mana story, Eddie Ne harasses the veteran jockey Solomon Rushton about retiring.    In my bare bones version he said something like:

"You should retire, old man."

But in the final draft the scene went like this:

With a grin on his face, Eddie pulled his goggles down, fingered his chin strap, and took hold of that familiar tuft of mane again. Still grinning, he turned to Solomon Rushton, sitting on Ash, two stalls away.

"Hey, Solomon!" Eddie taunted, "Ready to buy a beach house and retire for good?"

"Don't count on it, kid!"

"After this race, old man, you're going to want to."

Now, honestly, which version do you prefer?  What made the second one so much more interesting?  Well, it had meat on it...good tender descriptive meat.  When Eddie Ne mentioned the beach house, it felt more like a thumbed nose than simply saying "you should retire" or "old man."   It was a descriptive mockery of every little snow bird you can think of.   Even Solomon's reply suggests the patience and maturity of his age and his personality.

And Eddie's final words? Well, they were both a cheeky threat and a cheeky boast, and that made them seductive and interesting.

Whenever you write out dialogue stop and think if there is another way of saying it.  Beware of puns and poetry, because just as people can be too boring by having dialogue that is too lean, a writer can make the mistake of trying to be too impressive or too "smart" by giving their characters unbelievable, corny, flowery, pseudo-intellectual drivel.   Obey the law of moderation.


4. Dialogue should have timing.

One of the most important lessons I ever learned from my years working in the theatre was what I learned just from listening to the director's routine shit fits.  His biggest pet peeve was unnecessary pauses. The actors would slow down every now and then trying to remember their lines, or pausing for whatever actor-related reason actors have, and the director would grab his hair and bellow, "PICK UP YOUR CUES."  In other words? Stop murdering the pace.   This is something I find myself repeating when I'm reading a stretch of dialogue breaking rule one and rule two by being 1. too normal and thus, 2. too long and boring or even WORSE...preachy. I just want to grab my hair and scream "PICK UP YOUR CUES."

Speech has rhythm.  I know, I know, when I was in English class my mind used to implode at the idea of iambic pentameter this and that.  It still does.  I'm not going to use any fancy nonsense with you guys.

Just take this example from my most recent post:

"You said you needed to talk to me," the trainer bellowed, still flipping his pages with viciousness.

"Yes, sir," Eddie replied. He was the owner now, but the old habit of addressing a trainer kicked in without him meaning it to.

"So talk. And talk quickly. You understand I don't have a lot of time. I don't have a lot patience. I don't like people who waste my time. And I don't like people who think because they pay me they get to sip at my patience like it's a new england iced tea. If you've got something to say you should just say it and stop wasting a man's time and a man's patience. And stop looking at me like you're measuring my bra size."

"You're probably a B."

"It's insulting."

"Good."

"It's not my fault I ended up bigger than the rest of my brothers."

"Gene blamer."

"It's my goddamn thyroid."

"Okay."

"I take medication for it."

"In which case you should be thinner."

"Goddammit, Eddie!"

"Clive, you overly self-conscious fuck, I'm not staring at your chest."

Did you feel that? Did you feel the rhythm? Engaging dialogue has it.  If you didn't feel it, try reading it out loud and you'll find your mouth and your body moving along a current you didn't even realize consciously was there.    Storytelling is in our genes, it's the way our ancestors have passed valuable information from generation to generation.  People employ rhythm to help them remember and as a result rhythm has been a part of good storytelling from the beginning. If your dialogue sounds unnaturally choppy to you, without an engaging memorable beat, you need to pick up your cues.


5. Dialogue should have voice.

One of the most difficult things to do in dialogue is create a unique voice to each individual character.  You won't even be able to manage this if you don't know your character so if you're just winging every little chapter out without any clue who your character is, was, or what he is going to be, don't even bother attempting a voice.  Trust me. You aren't ready.

But if you feel you've a real grasp on who your character is and where he's going then generating a believable consistent voice is your next goal.   And how do you do it? You research and brainstorm and then you tie it all together on every page you write.

TYING IT ALL TOGETHER:

A long long time ago, my dear husband and I wandered into an anime convention with a bewildered expression on our faces.  We wandered all the way into a lecture being given by an incredible voice actor which sparked the strategy I now employ for discovering and generating voice.  

Voice isn't merely having an accent, it's where a person decides to pause, it's how their face looks when they say it, their body language, their tone, their volume, everything. And you get a feel for it by doing it.  You heard me. Read it out loud and act it out, complete with facial expressions and gestures.  You'll look and sound like an idiot, but, with any luck, your characters won't.  

The method I employ for discovering and maintaining my character's voice is to take a simple line and read it with a difference emphasis on each word each time.

Take for example a line from the dialogue I posted earlier:

"You understand I don't have a lot of time."

Now read each of these sentences OUT LOUD with the emphasis on the specified word:

YOU understand I don't have a lot of time.

(doesn't that sound a little pleading? a little passive? Almost whiny.)

You UNDERSTAND I don't have a lot of time.

(that sounds almost apologetic, as if hoping the person will "understand")

You understand I DON'T have a lot of time.

(rude and brisk, but still not what I'm going for.)

You understand I don't HAVE a lot of time.

(AH that's the one.)

You understand I don't have A LOT of time.

(wishy-washy...maybe I do, maybe I don't)

You understand I don't have a lot of TIME.

(good and forceful, but not Clive)

See the difference?  When I read that line out loud to myself (and I did) the character Clive Thompson said: "You understand I don't HAVE a lot of time."   The matter of his possession of time and patience is nonnegotiable.  He doesn't HAVE it. What else can you do if you don't HAVE it?  You're at a dead end.  In other words, Clive Thompson is emphasizing that all further arguments are, in his point of view, a waste of time.  

THAT's Clive Thompson.  A man who doesn't HAVE time or HAVE patience. Ever. That's his voice. That's what makes him recognizable and iconic.  A self-conscious, near-constant impatience and discomfort with idle conversation.  

Voice is the end result of those four earlier concepts combined with good character/ environment design and development. When you combine those things you get memorable, engaging dialogue that breathes life into the character and drives the plot forward.

Thus, what we get with that single line is:

1. It's believable:  One, plot-wise winning over Clive Thompson is essential to Eddie Ne. Two, Clive Thompson's character is uncomfortable and impatient and the environment of the small hot office would make him increasingly uncomfortable, impatient, and seeking escape and his escape is counter to Eddie Ne's goal.
2. It's seductive: A line like that is making both of our characters fight for what they want  by suggesting and generating conflict. Eddie Ne needs Clive, Clive wants to be rid of Eddie Ne.  Both of them want something and both of them are using dialogue as a means of obtaining it  
3. It has rhythm.
4. Because it obeys those other three tips, it's already interesting.
5. It is consistent with the character's voice. Reading the line over and over again and acting it out gave me a sense of how it needed to be delivered and confirmed my idea that it should be delivered.

The fact is, everything I'm giving you isn't exactly a tutorial because there is no real method to great dialogue.  What really happens is that when you keep these five guidelines in mind you'll start making realistic choices that will improve the dialogue that makes the final cut.  You'll find yourself paying more attention to how your characters speak, and what they choose to say and why they say it and how they say it.  And once you start paying attention to things like believability, pertinence, seductiveness, and tempo, you'll start making those critical decisions that lead to more engaging, and, thus, better dialogue.

Hope that helps! And never stop writing!